Talk when stalked
A talk was conducted today at office for ‘Women Empowerment’. Ms. Manjari Jaruhar, IPS(retd), advisor of TCS, talked about women safety issues and legal education. She, who is one of the first five women Police officers of the country and the first women officer of her state Bihar, briefed about stalking. Anyone who is following you or bothering you continuously should be reported she said. I did not know stalking is a legal offence. She also spoke about how police force in India is hostile towards petty concerns of citizens. The difference between number to police officers required for a population like ours and the actual number of officers trained is staggeringly large. One time I had experienced these both- stalking and police animosity. I have been stalked quite a few times. The whole talk brought back one particular incident that was as rough as it was unsettling.
One Saturday evening in Pune, I had been to MG to shop for my cousin’s wedding. As I lived alone, I used roam alone. As I was waiting on my Access125 for the red signal to pass, a guy in black Tshirt came to me and said “Hi. I really like you. I know you live in xxx area and work in TCS. Can I please have your number?” I was taken aback! Firstly, I had no bloody clue who the guy was. Secondly, I did not even know he was following me! How come I never noticed! When I told him I’m not interested, he left. Little did I know that what started off as a shocking evening was about to turn into a nightmare. Upon reaching, I parked my vehicle amid others before I left for shopping. An hour later, I could not find my vehicle where I had parked it. I thought I was on the wrong lane. I started searching frantically on all lanes. No luck. I swear the first thought that came is that of that strange guy. I was worried if he did something to it. Just then, seeing me panic, an auto driver nearby told me that traffic police people have taken all the vehicles as it was the wrong lane. I got fearful. I was alone, I did not know the route to police station and it was getting dark. I tried asking for directions if any police stations are nearby. I called one of my colleagues I could think of. But, he was quite far from my location. I waited for him panicking, trying to figure out the route to nearby station. Just when I thought I will go there all alone, a part of me got overwhelmed. Then, I lost my nerve and I began crying. I wanted to keep it together but I was getting nervous about going to police station all alone. Luckily, a passer-by asked me what was wrong. When explained, he along with his friend took me to the station. To explain quickly, the vehicle-man created a lot of fuss and we had to pay him a lot to get the vehicle back. I did not have that much cash at the moment. The man, bless him, selflessly helped me out. I was relieved to take my vehicle back and he gave me his account details as they both left. I called my colleague, who was only half way due to traffic, and asked him to return home. I sometimes wonder, what if those strangers had not helped me out? What if the stalker had done something worse? In times like these, people we expect should help are our policemen. The police guy I met was unpleasant and unprofessional. To this day that incident is etched in my mind. And, no. My family doesn’t know this. I don’t want them to panic too.
Now, I try to be more careful and follow all safety measures. Please people, especially women, take care when it comes to your protection. Always watch out for potential problems. Make sure you arrange your proper pick-up and drop when you are traveling alone anytime. Always, keep perfumes, hair clips, keys or anything sharp in bag that may come handy while in trouble. When someone is making you uncomfortable, talk about it to the person you trust. If it’s happening at work-place, talk to the person in-charge of safety. Most importantly, tell at least one person your detailed whereabouts whenever you are out. Always and always pray for your protection and God will help you.
And, with that I bid you all a good night.
Protect yourself,
Prerana
One Saturday evening in Pune, I had been to MG to shop for my cousin’s wedding. As I lived alone, I used roam alone. As I was waiting on my Access125 for the red signal to pass, a guy in black Tshirt came to me and said “Hi. I really like you. I know you live in xxx area and work in TCS. Can I please have your number?” I was taken aback! Firstly, I had no bloody clue who the guy was. Secondly, I did not even know he was following me! How come I never noticed! When I told him I’m not interested, he left. Little did I know that what started off as a shocking evening was about to turn into a nightmare. Upon reaching, I parked my vehicle amid others before I left for shopping. An hour later, I could not find my vehicle where I had parked it. I thought I was on the wrong lane. I started searching frantically on all lanes. No luck. I swear the first thought that came is that of that strange guy. I was worried if he did something to it. Just then, seeing me panic, an auto driver nearby told me that traffic police people have taken all the vehicles as it was the wrong lane. I got fearful. I was alone, I did not know the route to police station and it was getting dark. I tried asking for directions if any police stations are nearby. I called one of my colleagues I could think of. But, he was quite far from my location. I waited for him panicking, trying to figure out the route to nearby station. Just when I thought I will go there all alone, a part of me got overwhelmed. Then, I lost my nerve and I began crying. I wanted to keep it together but I was getting nervous about going to police station all alone. Luckily, a passer-by asked me what was wrong. When explained, he along with his friend took me to the station. To explain quickly, the vehicle-man created a lot of fuss and we had to pay him a lot to get the vehicle back. I did not have that much cash at the moment. The man, bless him, selflessly helped me out. I was relieved to take my vehicle back and he gave me his account details as they both left. I called my colleague, who was only half way due to traffic, and asked him to return home. I sometimes wonder, what if those strangers had not helped me out? What if the stalker had done something worse? In times like these, people we expect should help are our policemen. The police guy I met was unpleasant and unprofessional. To this day that incident is etched in my mind. And, no. My family doesn’t know this. I don’t want them to panic too.
Now, I try to be more careful and follow all safety measures. Please people, especially women, take care when it comes to your protection. Always watch out for potential problems. Make sure you arrange your proper pick-up and drop when you are traveling alone anytime. Always, keep perfumes, hair clips, keys or anything sharp in bag that may come handy while in trouble. When someone is making you uncomfortable, talk about it to the person you trust. If it’s happening at work-place, talk to the person in-charge of safety. Most importantly, tell at least one person your detailed whereabouts whenever you are out. Always and always pray for your protection and God will help you.
And, with that I bid you all a good night.
Protect yourself,
Prerana
Over the years I have been trying out to understand ways to safeguard women from external threats. If they are in such conditions, where they have to be super alert 24 hours, definitely there will be reduction in their professional efficiency and it will also hinder their personal lives.
ReplyDeleteYou were indeed lucky that atleast someone stopped and helped you.
Do carry a pepper spray. Out of everything, it is most useful. I would have suggested a swiss knife but in corporate they won't allow you to take metal objects, and then you will never carry.
Stay safe.
Thank you Siddu. I will surely remember to carry one.
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